Santa: Itne kam marks? Do thappad marne chahiye.
Pappu: Haan papa, chalo maine us saale master ka ghar bhi dekh rakha hai.

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Banta: Oye, tu to Doctor ke paas jaane waala tha, kya hua?
Santa: Yaar kal jaaonga, aaj thodi tabiyat kharab hai.

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Banta: Yeh AUTOMATICALLY kya hota hai?
Santa: Oye tujhe yeh bhi nahin pata, Jab auto mein koi ganji ladki ja rahi ho to use kehte hain AUTO-ME-TAKLI

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Santa: Agar tumhe kuch ho gaya to mein Pagal ho jaaunga.
Jeeto: Doosri shaadi to nahin karogey?
Santa: Pagal ka kya hai, kuch bhi kar sakta hai
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Napoleon: There is no such word as 'Impossible' in my dictionary.
KhatriJi: To dictionary dekh kar kharidni thi ...!

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Tourist: Whose skeleton is that?
Santa: Tipu's skeleton.
Tourist: Whose that smaller skeleton next to it?
Santa: That was Tipu's skeleton when he was child


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Sadhu: Bachcha teri biwi ko chuddail chipak gayee hai. Upaaye karvaao.
Banta: Upayaye? Baba, agar do behenein gale mil rahi hain to is mein harz hi kya hai ?


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Banta: Yaar teri wife ki maut ka badaa afsos hua, vaise hua kya tha?
Sant: Goli lagi thi mathe main.
Banta: Waheguru ji ka shukar kar ke aankh bach gayi.

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Captain of Military: Naujawanon aage bado.
Santa aage nahin bada.
Captain: Tum aage kyun nahin bade?
Santa: Apne kaha 9 jawanon aage bado, mein 10ve number pe tha.

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Santa was getting bitten by mosquitoes the whole night. He got
irritated... drank poison & said,
Ab kaato saalon, sab maroge!

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Museum Administrator: That's a 500-year-old statue u've broken.
Banta: Thanks God! I thought it was a new one.

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Banta: Yeh chaaku kyon ubaal rahe ho?
Santa: Suicide karne ke liye
Banta: To phir ubalne kui kya zaroorat hai?
Santa: Kahin infection na ho jaaye

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Santa: Raat film mein ek chudail kabhi mere aage, khabhi mere peechhe ghoom rahi thi...
Jeeto: Koun si film thi ?
Santa: Apni shaadi ki movie thi !

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Santa: Doc saab, mein Chashma laga ke pad to sakoonga?
Doc: Haan, bilkul.
Santa: To phir theek hai doc saab varna Anpad aadmi ki zindagi bhi koi zindagi hai.

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Santa was busy in removing a wheel from auto, Banta asks: Y r u removing a
wheel from ur auto?
Santa: Can't u read 'Parking for two wheelers only