[b][green]

1. Tumse pyaar karte karte hamne kar diya crime....
Tumse pyaar karte karte hamne kar diya crime....
.
.

.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
." 1 is neither composite nor prime"



2. Agar dava chahiye toh dhundo koi chemist....
Agar dava chahiye toh dhundo koi chemist....

.

.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
My NAME IS KHAN and I AM NOT A TERRORIST...


3. yuh khamosh rehkar tadpogi kabtak....
yuh khamosh rehkar tadpogi kabtak....

.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.

Cameraman praful ke saath deepak chaurasia AAJ TAK..


4.. Arj kiya hai..

He is KISSING
She is KISSING


He is KISSING
She is KISSING

.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
* * *Some test missing
* * *some text missing

5. woh mujhe chhod ke chali gayi usse pana mein chahun....
woh mujhe chhod ke chali gayi usse pana mein chahun....
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
ahun ahun ahun
ahun ahun ahun



6.mehgai ke iss daur mein karna padta hai apne kharche par kabooo..
mehgai ke iss daur mein karna padta hai apne kharche par kabooo..
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
ek chutki sindoor ki kimat tum kya jano Ramesh babu...


7. Akbar ne kharide 3-3 ghode..
Akbar ne kharide 3-3 ghode..
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
aja aja dil nichode ....
raat ki matki phode...


8.mein hoon yahan tu hai wahan...
mein hoon yahan tu hai wahan..
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
LIFEBUOY hai jahan tandurusti hai wahan...


9. Blood donate karne se pehle hamesha uska group janchna...
Blood donate karne se pehle hamesha uska group janchna...
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
..

.
.
.
.
"BASANTI in kuton ke samne mat nachna...."


10 . Ratan tata ne establish kiya TATA..
Ratan tata ne establish kiya TATA..
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.

"itni sakti hamen dena data "[/green][/b]

रैगिंग के वक्त लड़कों ने 1 लड़की से कहा, एक सवाल का जवाब दो- पटना कहां पर है?
लड़की- बिहार में।
लड़का- यहीं पट जाओ इतनी दूर जाने की क्या जरुरत है।

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

संता पहली बार हवाई जहाज में बैठा। हवाई जहाज रन वे पर दौड़ रहा था।
संता ने पायलट को थप्पड़ मारा और गुस्से से बोला- एक तो पहले ही देर हो रही है और तू है कि सड़क से ही जा रहा है।

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

डॉक्टर मरीज के पीछे भाग रहा था।
एक आदमी ने पूछा क्या हुआ?
डॉक्टर- 4 बार ऐसा ही हुआ है ये आदमी ब्रेन का ऑपरेशन करवाने आता है और बाल कटवाकर भाग जाता है।

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

अहमद- हम 25 भाई-बहन है।
करीम- क्या तुम्हारे घर कभी फैमिली प्लानिंग वाले नही आये।
अहमद- आये तो थे लेकिन स्कूल समझकर चले गये..

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

संता (बंता से)- चल रेस लगाते हैं, जो हारेगा वो 1000 रुपये देगा।
बंता (संता से)- ठीक है पर मुझे रास्ता नही पता।
संता- बस तू मेरे पीछे-पीछे रहना।
बंता- थैंक्स भाई।

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

एक डॉक्टर की शादी नर्स से हो जाती है।
डॉक्टर के मित्र ने पूछा- भाभी जी कैसी हैं?
डॉक्टर- यार वो मेरी बात ही नही सुनती जब तक उसे सिस्टर कहकर न बुलाऊं।

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

पिता (पुत्र से)- आज तक तुमने ऐसा कोई काम नहीं किया जिससे मेरा सिर ऊंचा हो गया हो।
पुत्र (याद करके)- पापा एक बार मैंने आपके सिर के नीचे 3 तकिये रखे थे

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

अध्यापक (छात्र से)- वो तीन शब्द बताओ जो सबसे ज्यादा बोले जाते हैं?
छात्र (अध्यापक से)- मुझे नही पता...
अध्यापक - शाबाश बेटा, बैठ जाओ..

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

अध्यापक- बच्चों बताओ वो कौन-सी चीज है जो तुम रोज देख तो सकते हो लेकिन तोड़ नही सकते।
छात्र- जी आपका मुंह....

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

पत्नी (पति से)- किचन से.. अजी सुनते हो देखो मैं आज बहुत खूबसूरत लग रही हूं...
पति (पत्नी से)- तुमने कैसे जाना?
पत्नी- आज मेरी खूबसूरती देखकर रोटी भी जल रही है।

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Poor Priety Zinta :(

(1)
Patni us prani ka naam hai jo shadi ke pradham 10 -15 saal to tok tok
kar aapki saari aadten badalti raahe aur bad mai kahe ki aap pehle
jaise nahi rahe.

(2)
Doctor ek patient ke pichhe bhag raha tha ek admi ne puchha kya hua?

Doctor: are yaar char bar aisa hua hai sala brain ka operation karwane aata hai aur baal katvake chala

jata hai.

(3)

Teacher to student: is line ki english banao - Usne apna kaam kiya or karta hi gaya.

Student - He done his work and done - dana - dan - done - dana - dan.

(4)

Ek aadmi sadhu se bola: -
Meri bibi bahut pareshan karti hai, koi upay batayen na shadu ji....
Aur fir shadu gusse mai bole: -
abe saale upay agar mere paas hote to mai shadu kyon banta.

(5)

Ek sahebji ghabraye hue aaye aur biwi se bole: “Begam, aaj main office se aa raha tha ki raste mein ek

gadha…!”
Itne mein unki bachhi bol uthi: “Mummy, Shyam ne meri gudiya tod di hai.” Pati ne phir kehna shuru kiya

“Haan toh begam, main keh raha tha ki raste mein ek gadha…..!”
Itne mein unka ladka bola: “Mummy, Rita ne meri car tod di hai.”
Biwi ghusse mein aakar boli: “Bhagwan ke liye tum sab chup ho jao, mujhe pehle gadhe ki baat sun lene

do..!”

(6)

Boy to girl at a dance party: “Kya tum mere sath dance karogi?”
Girl reply: “Main bacche ke saath dance nahi karti.”
Boy: Sorry mujhe pata nahi tha ki tum pregnent ho

(7)

Ek ladke ne jockey ka underwear kharida. 2 din bad woh gaon chala gaya.
Waha usne apni dhoti upar karke sabko dikhaya.
Baad mein ghar pahuncha toh pata chala ki underwear toh chair par pada tha!!!

(8)

Pati patni se: - fir vahi bengan ,tumhe pata hai jada bengaan khane se aadmi agle janam mai gadha

banta hai.
Patni pati se: - ye bat to tumhe pichhale janam mai sochni chaahiye thi.

(9)

Ek orat-(raah chalte ladke ko sigrate pita dekh ke bolti hai)
kya tumhare ma baab ko pata hai ki tum sigrate pite ho?
Ladka-(orat se)kya aapke pati ko pata hai ki aap sadak chalte
kisi ajnavi se baat karti hai.?

(10)

Ek baar kela or nibu mai behas ho jati hai
Kela:-nibu se ki tujhe to katkar nichhod kar maja lete hai
Nibu:- kele se are han ! tere to kapde utar kar maja lete hai.

(11)

Ek machhar dusre machhar se: - dekh yar kamaal ho raha hai chuhe dani mai chuha hai sabun dani mai

sabun hai aur machhar dani mai aadmi so raha hai.

Most cricketers, who are not comfortable in conversing in English, go prepare for some standard questions that are asked to them when commentators chat with them during the awards ceremony. Inzamam was once asked a different question after Pakistan won the match, for which he was not prepared. He always used his standard response to the first question after winning


But this time.....
After Winning the Match

Tony Greg : So Inzi, that's fantastic, your wife is pregnant for the second time and u must be happy!

Inzamam : Thanks Tony?,?.! All credit goes to the boys. Everyone work hard for it, especially Afridi. It was tight situation when he went in. Also Bob Woolmer was keeping close watch on progress and giving instructions. It's all team effort. Insha Allah, we all will work together as a team, put in big effort and deliver good result all the time and will be able to REPEAT the same result.


Tony fainted!!!!!!

Santa: Itne kam marks? Do thappad marne chahiye.
Pappu: Haan papa, chalo maine us saale master ka ghar bhi dekh rakha hai.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Banta: Oye, tu to Doctor ke paas jaane waala tha, kya hua?
Santa: Yaar kal jaaonga, aaj thodi tabiyat kharab hai.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Banta: Yeh AUTOMATICALLY kya hota hai?
Santa: Oye tujhe yeh bhi nahin pata, Jab auto mein koi ganji ladki ja rahi ho to use kehte hain AUTO-ME-TAKLI

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Santa: Agar tumhe kuch ho gaya to mein Pagal ho jaaunga.
Jeeto: Doosri shaadi to nahin karogey?
Santa: Pagal ka kya hai, kuch bhi kar sakta hai
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Napoleon: There is no such word as 'Impossible' in my dictionary.
KhatriJi: To dictionary dekh kar kharidni thi ...!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Tourist: Whose skeleton is that?
Santa: Tipu's skeleton.
Tourist: Whose that smaller skeleton next to it?
Santa: That was Tipu's skeleton when he was child


~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Sadhu: Bachcha teri biwi ko chuddail chipak gayee hai. Upaaye karvaao.
Banta: Upayaye? Baba, agar do behenein gale mil rahi hain to is mein harz hi kya hai ?


~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Banta: Yaar teri wife ki maut ka badaa afsos hua, vaise hua kya tha?
Sant: Goli lagi thi mathe main.
Banta: Waheguru ji ka shukar kar ke aankh bach gayi.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Captain of Military: Naujawanon aage bado.
Santa aage nahin bada.
Captain: Tum aage kyun nahin bade?
Santa: Apne kaha 9 jawanon aage bado, mein 10ve number pe tha.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Santa was getting bitten by mosquitoes the whole night. He got
irritated... drank poison & said,
Ab kaato saalon, sab maroge!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Museum Administrator: That's a 500-year-old statue u've broken.
Banta: Thanks God! I thought it was a new one.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Banta: Yeh chaaku kyon ubaal rahe ho?
Santa: Suicide karne ke liye
Banta: To phir ubalne kui kya zaroorat hai?
Santa: Kahin infection na ho jaaye

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Santa: Raat film mein ek chudail kabhi mere aage, khabhi mere peechhe ghoom rahi thi...
Jeeto: Koun si film thi ?
Santa: Apni shaadi ki movie thi !

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Santa: Doc saab, mein Chashma laga ke pad to sakoonga?
Doc: Haan, bilkul.
Santa: To phir theek hai doc saab varna Anpad aadmi ki zindagi bhi koi zindagi hai.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Santa was busy in removing a wheel from auto, Banta asks: Y r u removing a
wheel from ur auto?
Santa: Can't u read 'Parking for two wheelers only

A man was wheeling himself frantically down the hall of the hospital in his wheelchair, just before his operation. A nurse stopped him and asked, “What’s the matter?”

He said, “I heard the nurse say, ‘It’s a very simple operation, don’t worry, I’m sure it will be all right.”

“She was just trying to comfort you, what’s so frightening about that?”

“She wasn’t talking to me. She was talking to the doctor!”

1 Day a monkey kicked a sarder on his back and run away.Sarder run to catch him and find a zebra in the field.Sarder kicked the zebra on his back and said " Salla Trackshut pahenke dhoka de raha tha..."


A Sardar went 2 hotel, ordered chiken, Waiter comes with the order, Surdar:Murgi di taang kithe hai? Waiter:Woh langra tha. Surdar: Dil? Waiter:Dil murgi le gayee. Surdar: Dimaag? Waiter: Murga SARDAR tha !

SARDAR:: Beta ye kaisi machis lay kar aaye ho ek bhi nahi jal rahi
SON :: kya baat kartay ho pappa sub check kar kay laya hoooon


This sardarji goes to see Jurassic Park and when the Dinosaurs start
approaching, he was hiding under his seat when his friend asks him ;kyon
sardarji, kya baat hai? Dar kyon lag raha hai cinema hi to hai.; Sardarji
replies ;Aadmi hoon aur akkal hai, pata hai ki cinema hai, lekin voh to
janwar hai, usko kya pata"

There's a funeral procession of a sardar going on a busy street. All the
sardars in the 'mayyat' are dancing the bhangra and singing and general
'balle balle' is on. The people on the street find it strange that instead
of mourning everyone is celebrating as if its marriage baraat. So one of
them asks Santa Singh, ;Singh Saab, aapka koi sage wala gujar gaya hai aur
aap naach rahe ho?; .....comes the reply, ;Haan ji! Hai hi baat badi kushi
ki!!! Aaj paheli baar ek sardar brain tumour se mara hai!!!;

One day Sardar happened to see a marathon race.
"What the guys are doing" asked the sardar.
" We are running a marathon. The winner will get prize" replied one
runner.
"Only the winner will get prize! Then why others are participating!!"
Exclaimed the Sardar

Sardarji calls Air India. "How long does it take to fly to Amritsar?"
"Just a sec," says the receptionist. "Thank you." says the Sardar and
hangs up.

Why did 18 Sardars go to a movie?
Because below 18 was not allowed.

Sardarji fixed an answering machine at home.
Two days later he disconnected it because he was getting complaints like
"Saala phone utha ke bolta hai ghar pe nahin hai."

A SARDAR IS SING A PATRIOTIC SONG-""EY MERE VATAN KE LOGON
JARA AAINKH MEIN BHAR LO PANI,
JO SHAHEED HUYE HAIN UNKEE,
TUSSI GHAR LE AAO "JANANI" "

Sardar ji;
Bhagwan mujhe dard de,Dukh de,tention de,mujhe barbad kar de,mere piche BHoot laga de,
Bhabwan;abe sale ek line me bol ke biwi chahiye.

A sardarji Doctor falls in Love with a Nurse.He writes a love letter to the Nurse :- I Love U sister....

Sardar ji Aapko logo ne kyun mara ? Sardar " yaar Meri Photo Bas main Gir Gayi To Maine Madam Se Kaha Zara Sadi Upar Karo Photo Lena Hai".

Ek sardar Indian Flag lene shop mein gaya tha. Shopwale ne usse flag diya. Sardar bola: Isme aur colour dikhao!!! Siki

Ek american ek sardar se kaha hamare yahan saadi e-mail se bhi hoti hai isper sardar bola kamal hai hamare yahan to sirf female se hoti hai .