School life is like RELIANCE,
Karlo duniya mutthi mein..
College life is like AIRTEL,
Aisi aazadi aur kahan..
&
Marriage life is like IDEA,
Ek IDEA jo badal de aapki duniya.. ;-)

Jee kare aapke paas aaun
.
.
Aapke paas aake ruk jaun.
Na baithoon na boloon..
Bas aapki aankh mein
.
.
SANTRE KA CHHILKA NICHOD K BHAAG JAUN... ;-)

SMELL IN BEDROOM AFTER MARRIAGE-
1ST YEAR- Smell of roses & perfume!
NEXT FEW YEARS- Baby talcum..
AFTER 30 YEARS- Smell of Vicks & Jhandu balm... ;-)

wo maza..
Na takht me Na taj me,
Na poori duniya k raj me,
Na sur me Na saaz me..
Na kuber k khazaane me..
Jo maza hai subah uthkar fir so jane me.. ;-)

FULL FORM OF GIRL-
G- Gappe maarne me sabse aage!
I- Intelligent sirf shak karne me
R- Rone ki automatic machine
L- Ladai me sabki maa
Phir bhi duniya inki diwani.. ;-)

DEADLY PJ-
Thr were 2 frnds JO & WO..
1 day JO got scared seeing a snake.. Suddenly WO died..
Why did WO die?
coz
JO darr gaya, WO marr gaya!!! ;-)

KUCH LOG
.
.
ITNE
.
.
PERFECT HOTE HAIN..
.
.
K UNKE LIYE TAAREEF K ALFAAZ KAM PAD JAATE HAIN..
.
.
For example
.
.
"AAP"
.
.
MUJHE HI DEKH LO!!! ;-)

Papa- Pappu! Is baar tu fail hua to mujhe Papa mat kehna!
.
.
.
RESULT K BAAD
.
.
Papa- Beta result kaisa raha?
Pappu- Kitni baar mana kia hai k ghar aate hi dimaag mat kharaab kiya kar BABULAL!!! ;)

In 1975, 3 birds were flying & suddenly died & fell down..
HOW?
So simple!
Remember?
In SHOLAY?
Gabbar ne 3 goliyan hawa me chalai thi... ;-)

USA me ek pandit ko heart attack aa gaya.
Ambulance use le jane lagi to wo raaste me HARI OM HARI OM kehne laga! Ambulance use hospital ki bajaye ghar le gayi. Pandtani ne poochha, Isse hospital kyu nahi le k gaye?
Compounder said- He was saying HURRY HOME HURRY HOME.. So we brought him ;-

Kaidi- Try karna mujhe umr kaid ho, faansi nahi..
Sardar lawyer- Dont worry!
After court-
Kaidi- Kya hua?
Sardar- Bahut mushkil se umr kaid mili hai.. Saale riha kar rahe the!!!!!!! ;-)

Ek jungle me sab jaanwar ga rahe the, PAAN PARAAG PAAN MASALA- PAAN PARAG!
Par Giraffe nahi ga raha tha!
KYUN?
Kyuki,
UNCHE LOG! UNCHHI PASAND! MANIKCHAND!! ;-)

Pappu ki papa se ho gayi ladai,
Papa ne pappu ki khoob ki pitai,
Gusse se pappu ka khaula khoon,
Aur papa ki photo kabristan me latkakar likh diya- COMING SOON... ;-)

4 ROSES, JUST 4U,
1st for friendship,
2nd for wealth,
3rd for happiness
&
Last one- KAAN KE UPAR LAGA LENA! MAST LAGEGA ;-)

Ladke Wale:
Ye KYa Batmiji Hai Aapki Ladki Ko Shram Nahi Aati
Undrgrment Me Hi Aa Gai
Ladki wale:
Aap Ne Hi To Kaha Tha Ki Ladki Hume Sirf 2 Kapdo Me ChahiYe.

Examiner:y r u under tension? Did u forget hall ticket,ID,or pen, pencil.?

stdnt-No Sir! By mistake i brought tomorrow's exam Chit today:-)-

Tell These 5 Lines 2 Urself Every Mng,Feel MAGIC?
1> I M The BEST
2> I Can DO it
3> GOD is Always With ME
4> I m A WINNER
5> Today s My Day.

Gabbar:ye haath muje de de thakur.
Thakur:lele mere haath b le aur kaalia k be lele,Basanti k b le n jai veeru k b lele.durga ma banja sale.

Sardar joined army,gvn AK 47.
He's puzzled & asks Major:ye banduk ki nali samne rakhu ya ulta?
Mjr:Kisi b taraf rakho fayda desh ko hoga

MACHCHAR apne POTA se: Humare ZAMANE me LADKiYON ka KHOON CHOOSNA itna EASY nahi tha.
Pota: Q?
MACHCHAR: LADKiYA pure KAPDE jo PEHNA karti thi..-

Boy to a girl b4 Exam:
Hey, Al d best.
Girl also told d same

But girl scored 80 marks &
Boy was faild

Moral: Only Boys wish with true heart

Santa: DOCTOR, AAPKO TAANKE LAGAANE AATE HAI?
Docter: HAA AATE HAI, KAHA LAGAANE HAI?
Santa: YE LO MERI CHAPPAL TOOT GYI HAI, ISPE LAGA DO.

Dont study=fail,
Study=dont fail,
adding both eqns
ds+s=f+df
taking common
s(d+1)=f(1+d)
cancel 1+d
study=fail
hence proved So don't study!

If Mallika Sherwat plays role of Dropadi, Duryodhan will say:
Dussashan, pehna do Bhabhi ko Saree.
Hum bhi to dekhe, kaisi lagti hai Vastro me yeh nari !!

1:Kabhi top na karo varna log tumse jalne lgenge.

2:Hamesha Late class me jao is tarah har teacher tumhe yaad rakhega.

3:Agar cheating ka chance ho to kabhi padh kar na jao.

4:Zyada padhne se time kharaab hota hai aur time bahut keemti hai.

5:Kabhi Viva na do Kyunki beizzati ke 2 no. se izzat ke 0 achche..

10 lakh Shaadi ke

&

15000 Monthly kharcha.

To

1st 5yrs Weekly 3 Times,

Next

5yrs Weekly 2 Times,

Next

10 Yrs Once A Week

Agar Aap Sex karte hai

To

Aapko Aapki Biwi 2527 rs/nite paregi...

-A Public Service Msg From Accouting & Financing Deptt.

'Jago Grahak Jago'

INVEST AT UR OWN RISK.

Pati: Darling 20sal pehle jab shadi ki tumhara figure coke ki botal ki tareh tha. PATNI:ab bhi coke ki botl hai bas pehle 300ml ki thi,ab 2 LITER ki hai.

Pav bhaji ki upar nichoda maine lime.

WAH WAH

Pav bhaji ki upar nichoda maine lime.
.

.

.

.
.
.
.


dont read this shayari coz its just a waste of time..

For all who loves drink...!
Ek bahut bade sharabi ki car k piche likha tha...
"DAARU PIYO INSAAN BANO,,,
ROTI TO KUTTE BHI KHATE HAIN..."
cheers;-)

Life ka Original Sach

Sab Kehte Hai

"Akele Aaye The,
Akele Jayenge"

Par Sach To Ye Hai

"Bina 2 Logo K Koi Aata Nahi
OR
Bina 4 Logo K Koi Jata Nahi"

SHOKE SANDESH:-
Bade dukh k sath suchit karna padh rha hai ki Kal raat mere mobile ne antim validity ki saans li.
Postmartom ki report se pata chala hai ki mere mobile ki maut dosto k msg na bhejne k karan hui hai.

ANTIM YATRA-
Pratah 10:00 baje
SIM PUJA-
Dopahar 12:00 baje
BATTERY RASM-
Sham 5:00 baje

STHAAN-NOKIA PRIORITY

SHOKA KUL NOKIA PARIVAR-
5110, 3310, 6600 (Bhai)
7610, 6300, (Bhatije)
N-72, N-95, E-71 (Bete)
Or samast AIRTEL, VODAFONE, IDEA, RELIANCE,TATA DOCOMO parivar.

Jinhe sms na mila ho ise hi sms samjhe.

Mele cellu k ANTIM bhog me jalul-jalul aana..-Baby Micro Chip..

SUHAG Raat Thi SAASNE Darwaza KNOCK kiaDULHAN Bhag Kr Parde K Pichhe CHHUP Gayi. Dulha:Darti Q ho?MAA Hai.
Dulhan:oh! MuJhe Laga RAID Pad Gayi

1) Fashion: Lungi with a zip.
2) Laziness: Asking lift for a morning walk.
3) Craziness:Get blank paper xeroxed.
4) Honesty: Pregnent women taking 2 tickets.
5) Dehydration: Cow giving milk powder.
6) Overconfidence: A 99 years old woman purchasing a lifetime sim card".

Teacher:Batao baccho,jo galat kaam karte he wo kahan jate he?
Girl Sharmate Hue: Sir Chambal garden, Bundi Road,C V garden,Bhitariya kund orTrafic garden.

On airport 3 people were waiting 4 their sons.
HINDU:Hamare amir jade ne ana hai.
MUSLIM:Hamare navabjade ne ana hai.
PUNJABI: sade v haramjade ne aana hai.

Policeman to his son: Tumhara result acha nahi aaya. Aj se tumhara khelna aur TV dekhna band.

Beta: Ye 50 rupay pakdo aur is baat ko yaheen dabado...

Teacher asked boy: Tulsidas ka koi Doha Sunao?

Marwadi Boy: "Tulsi Salo dokro, Doha Diyo Banay, Khud To Beto Sarak Liyo, Mhane Diyo Fasay"...

1st girl: kal rat mujhe sapane mein koi chaku mar raha tha.

2nd girl: tu dar mat, agar sapane ki bat itani sach hoti to mujhe roj abortion karwana padta.

Sardar : tum bathroom mai achanak kaise ghus aye tumhe pata nahi k me naha raha hu ? NAUKAR : Sorry sir, mujhe laga madam hai

Sardar goes 2 Petrol Pump n Read notice.. DONT USE MOBILE HERE..

Sardar ne Mobile nikala aur subko Phon kiya.. 'Call mat krna me Petrol-pump par hu..'

SHOLEY Ki team neIPL me Part LiaGabbar Ki Team Ne20 Over Me150Run DiyeAurExtra Me 200Run Diye...Q?

........
Qki Wicket-Keeper THAKUR Tha.

Sardar 1 - mene apni biwi ko 12th pass karvayi,fir B.A,fir M.A,aur uski govt.job b lagva di,ab aur kya kru?

sardar 2-ab acha sa ladka dekh k SHADI KARDE.

Beta - "Apki Love Marriage hui thi na."
Papa - "ha par tumhe kaise pata."
Beta - "Apki Shadi aur meri Date of Birth me sirf 4 mahine ka Farq hai !!

1 ladki face pe dupata bandke khadi thi,
vaha bus stand pe khade uncle ne kaha:chalti hai kya.
Ladki ne kaha :-} papa mai hu! :

GirL=Tumne
Mujh Me Aisa kya Dekha Jo Tume Mujse Pyar Ho Gya?

Boy=Darling!
Abhi kuch dekha kaha He?
Dekne k liye Hi to Pyar kiya He.

A child told 2 a pregnant lady.
Child: Ye pet me kya hai?
Lady: Is me mera chota,pyara,cute sa baby hai.
Child: Itna pyara tha to khaya Q moti..

Santa English k paper main fail hogaya translation ki wajah se.

1. Main ek Aam admi hu
I am a mango man.

2.Muze Englis aati h,
English comes to me.

3.Mera taluq haripur hazara se hai.
I belong to Green pur Thousanda

4.Sadak per goliyan chal rahi hain
Tablets are walking on the road.

Javed and Habib are beggars. They beg in different areas of London .

Habib begs just as long as Javed but only collects £2 to £3 every day.

Javed brings home a suitcase FULL of £10 notes, drives a Mercedes, lives in a mortgage-free house and has a lot of money to spend..

Habib says to Javed 'I work just as long and hard as you do but how do you bring home a suitcase full of £10 notes every day?'

Javed says, 'Look at your sign, what does it say'?

Habib's sign reads 'I have no work, a wife and 6 kids to support'.

Javed says 'No wonder you only get £2- £3

Habib says... 'So what does your sign say'?

Javed shows Habib his sign...

It reads:

'I only need another £10 to move back to Pakistan'.

Friend: Why did you hit your husband with a chair?"
Wife: "I couldn't lift the table."!

How can you tell the married men at a wedding reception?
They�re the ones dancing with everyone but their wives.

What is a wedding tragedy?
To marry a man for love, and then find out he has no money.

How do I make my wife stop buying all these gloves?
Buy her a diamond ring.

How do most men define marriage?
A very expensive way to getting their laundry done free.

Some husbands can really get creative when they describe their wifes. Sanjana from Chennai has sent us these husband wife jokes. These are entries to a Washington post competition asking for a two-line rhyme with the most romantic first line, but the least romantic second line:

In the middle of a dispute the husband said: 'Let's not quarrel, my dear, let's discuses the thing sensibly.' 'No,' said the angry wife, 'every time we discuss something sensibly, I lose!' ** My darling, my lover, my beautiful wife:
Marrying you screwed up my life.







** I see your face, when I am dreaming.
That's why I always, wake up screaming.

** Kind, intelligent, loving and hot;
This describes everything that you're not.

** Love may be beautiful, love may be bliss,
But I only slept with you because I was pissed.

** I thought that I could love no other --
that is until I met your brother.

** Roses are red, violets are blue, sugar is sweet,and so are you.
But the roses are wilting, the violets are dead, the sugar bowl's empty and so is your head.

** I want to feel your sweet embrace;
But don't take that paper bag off your face.

** I love your smile, your face, and your eyes --
Damn, I'm good at telling lies!

** My love, you take my breath away.
What have you stepped in to smell this way?

** My feelings for you no words can tell,
Except for maybe "Go to hell."

** What inspired this amorous rhyme?
Two parts vodka, one part lime

** She: Don't you think a little common sense would prevent many divorces?
He: Why, I'm sure that it would keep people from getting married in the first place!

** Have you heard of the man who never worried about his marriage, until he moved from Delhi to Bombay and discovered that he still had the same milkman?

** An optimist is a man who looks forward to marriage. A pesimist is a married optimist.
** A husband is one who lays down the law for his wife and then accepts all her amendments.

** In married life, office plays a very imporant role. It's the place where you relax from your strenuos home life!

** Two ladies were discussing what they should wear to the club dance.
"We're supposed to wear something to match our husband's hair. So I'm going to wear black," said Mrs. Johnson.
"Goodness", gasped her companion. "I don't think I'll go. My husband is bald."

** Confirmed Bachelors know more about women than married men; that's why they are bachelors.

** "I love your daughter very dearly, sir," said the young man. "I would suffer deeply if I ever caused her a moment's unhapppiness."
"You certainly would," replied the father. "That girl is her mother all over - and I should know!"

** After a few months of marriage Aparna's husband reported her Missing. Police found her, but she refused to come back.
"We met while playing mixed doubles tennis," she said.
"When we married we planned to have 2 boys and 2 girls, to form our own mixed doubles. Now my husband is bored with tennis and mad about football. There are 11 boys in a soccer team and I'm worried."

** Husband says; "When I'm gone you'll never find another man like me".
Wife replied; "What makes you think I'd want another man like you!"

** Two friends, who hadn't seen each other in several years, met on the street.
"Who are you working for now?" asked the first.
"Same people," answered the other. "My wife and four children."

** A young accountant stayed late at the office day after day. Finally, the boss called him in and asked for an explanation.

"Well, you see sir," he stammered, "my wife works, too -- and if I get home before she does, I have to cook the dinner."

** A friend asked a lady: "I suppose you carry a momento of some sort in that locket of yours?"
"Yes, a strand of my husband's hair."
"But your husband's still alive!"
"Yes, but his hair's gone."

** First Soldier: "What made U go into the army?"
Second Soldier: "I had no wife and I loved war. What about you?"
First Soldier: "Well, I had a wife and loved peace."

** They say that when a man holds a woman's hand before marriage, it is love; after marriage it is self-defense

** It is difficult to understand GOD. He makes such beautiful things as women..and then he turns them into Wives !?!!!?!

** It takes thousand workers to build a castle , Million soldiers to protect a country
BUT Just ONE woman to make a Happy HOME! Let's Thank ...... the KAAMWALI

** A person who surrenders when he's WRONG, is HONEST.
A person who SURRENDERS when not SURE, is WISE.
A person who surrenders even if he's RIGHT, is a HUSBAND.!

** What is the difference between a woman and a magnet? Magnets have a positive side!

** Its funny when people discuss over "love marriage" and "arranged marriage"
It is like asking a person if he would like to "hang himself" or "shoot himself".

** Why do men chase women they have no intention of marrying?
For the same reason dogs chase cars they have no intention of driving.

** Wife : Honey ...... What are You Looking for ? Husband : Nothing. Wife : Nothing...?? U've been reading our marriage certificate 4 an hour ...??
Husband : I was just looking 4 the expiry date.

** If your wife wants to learn to drive,
don't stand in her way.

* Behind every great man,
there is a surprised woman.

* Some people kiss with both eyes closed. Too bad they marry the same way.

* The reason men lie is because women ask so many questions.

* A Spouse is someone who'll stand by you through all the trouble you wouldn't have had if you'd stayed single.

* I always leave an empty milk carton in the refrigerator just in case someone wants Black Coffee.

* Getting caught is the mother of Invention.

* Laugh and the world laughs with you, Snore and you sleep alone.

* The surest sign that intelligent life exists elsewhere in the universe is the fact that it has never tried to contact us.

* Sign at a barber's saloon in Juhu, Bombay: We need your heads to run our business.

* A traffic slogan: Don't let your kids drive if they are not old enough or else they will never be.

* Sign in a restaurant: All drinking water in this establishment has been personally passed by the manager.

* Sign on a famous beauty parlor window:
Don't whistle at the girl going out from here. She may be your Grandmother.

My wife dresses to kill. She also cooks the same way. -Henny Youngman

My wife and I were happy for twenty years. Then we met. -Rodney Dangerfield

A good wife always forgives her husband when she's wrong. -Milton Berle

I bought my wife a new car.
She called and said, "There was water in the carburetor."
I asked her, "Where's the car?"
She replied,. In the lake." -Henny Youngman

The secret of a happy marriage remains a secret. -Henny Youngman

After a quarrel, a wife said to her husband,
"You know, I was a fool when I married you."
The husband replied,
"Yes, dear, but I was in love and didn't notice."

When a man steals your wife, there is no better revenge than to let him keep her.

I haven't spoken to my wife in 18 months - I don't like to interrupt her.

My girlfriend told me I should be more affectionate. So I got myself two girlfriends.

A man said his credit card was stolen but he decided not to report it since the thief was spending much less than his wife did.

Man is incomplete until he is married. Then he is finished.

A little boy asked his father, "Daddy, how much does it cost to get married?" The father replied, "I don't know son, I'm still paying."

Young Son: Is it true, Dad, that in some parts of Africa, a Man doesn't know his wife until he marries her? Dad: That happens in every country, son.

Then there was a man who said, "I never knew what real happiness was until I got married; then it was too late.

A man placed an ad in the classifieds: "Wife wanted."
The next day he received a hundred letters. They all said the same: "You can have mine."

A woman was telling her friend, "I made my husband a millionaire." And what was he before you married him?" asked the friend. "A billionaire." she replied,

Marriage is the triumph of imagination over intelligence. Second marriage is the triumph of hope over experience.

It's not true that married men live longer than single men. It only seems longer.

Losing a wife can be very hard. In my case, it was almost impossible.

Just think, if it weren't for marriage, men would go through life Thinking they had no faults at all.

A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend. A successful woman is one who can find such a man.

A man meets a genie. The genie tells him he can ask for whatever he wants, but his mother-in-law gets double of what he gets. The man thinks for a moment and says,. Okay, give me a million dollars and beat me till I'm half dead."

en who have pierced ears are better prepared formarriage.
They've experienced pain and bought jewelry.

I have nothing to declare except my genius.

I never forget a face, but in your case I'll be glad to make an exception.

Hard work has a future payoff. Laziness pays off NOW!

Always remember you're unique - just like everyone else.

How many letters in the Alphabet? 19, because, ET went home on a UFO and the FBI went after him.

The first half of our lives is ruined by our parents, and the second half by our children.

It's better to let someone think you are an Idiot than to open your mouth and prove it.

I tried to daydream, but my mind kept wandering.

I used to be indecisive, now I'm not so sure.

Tourist Resort is a place where no one knows how unimportant you are at home.

Name the 3 fastest means of communication?Telephone, Television and Tell-a-woman!

Love Affairs: Something like cricket where one-day internationals are more popular than a five day test.

Doctor : A person who kills your ills by pills, and kills you with his bills.

Diplomat : A person who tells you to go to hell in such a way that you actually look forward to the trip.

Lecture : An art of transferring information from the notes of the lecturer to the notes of the students without passing through "the minds of either.

The trouble with being a good sport is, you have to loose in order to prove it.

An optimist: A man who gets married when he's seventy-five and then looks for a house near a school.

Cigarette : A pinch of tobacco rolled in paper with fire at one end & a fool at the other.

Marriage : It's an agreement in which a man loses his bachelor degree and a woman gains her master

Divorce : Future tense of marriage

Lecture : An art of transferring information from the notes of the lecturer to the notes of the students without passing through "the minds of either".

Conference : The confusion of one man multiplied by the number present.

Compromise : The art of dividing a cake in such a way that everybody believes he got the biggest piece.

Tears : The hydraulic force by which masculine will-power is defeated by feminine water-power ..

Dictionary : A place where divorce comes before marriage.

Conference Room : A place where everybody talks, nobody listens & everybody disagrees later on.

Ecstasy : A feeling when you feel you are going to feel a feeling you have never felt before.

Classic : A book which people praise, but do not read.

Smile : A curve that can set a lot of things straight.

Office : A place where you can relax after your strenuous home life.

Yawn : The only time some married men ever get to open their mouth.

Etc. : A sign to make others believe that you know more than you actually do.

Committee: Individuals who can do nothing individually and sit to decide that nothing can be done together.

Experience : The name men give to their mistakes.

Atom Bomb: An invention to end all inventions.

Philosopher: A fool who torments himself during life, to be spoken of when dead.

Diplomat : A person who tells you to go to hell in such a way that you actually look forward to the trip.

Opportunist : A person who starts taking bath if he accidentally falls into a river.

Optimist : A person who while falling from Eiffel Tower says in midway "See I am not injured yet."

Pessimist :- A person who says that O is the last letter in ZERO,Instead of the first letter in word OPPORTUNITY.

Miser : A person who lives poor so that he can die rich.

Father : A banker provided by nature.

Criminal : A guy no different from the rest... except that he got caught.

Boss : Someone who is early when you are late and late when you are early.

Politician : One who shakes your hand before elections and your Confidence after.

Santa: Go and water the plants.
Servant: it's already raining.
Santa: So what? Take an umbrella and go.

�Darling� said Santa to his new bride. �Now that we are married ,do you think you can live on my small income?�. �Ofcourse dearest�, she replied. �But what will you live on?�

Santa threw his watch off the balcony of his house on the tenth floor. He ran downstairs and still managed to catch it. How did he do that? Because Santa�s watch is always ten minutes slow.

Santa checked his girlfriend�s mobile to know under what name she had saved his number. When he dialed his number form her phone, it showed �TIMEPASS NO. 8�

Santa is checking out of a hotel when suddenly he has to take a shit real bad. The toilet in his room doesn�t flush so he runs to the lobby to use the men�s room but none of the stalls are free. He runs back to his room ,uproots a plant and shits in the pot .Then he puts the plant back and leaves. A week later he gets a postcard from the hotel that says� Dear Sir��all is forgiven�..just tell us��.where is it?�

Once Santa brought his girlfriend home for dinner. This was her first time meeting the family so she was tremendously nervous. This along with the broccoli she ate gave her a little gas so she let out a small noiseless fart but it turned out to be loud enough for the family to hear. Right then Santa�s father shouted at the dog sitting next to her chair, �Ginger!�. She was relieved. Next time she let out a louder one and again Santa�s father shouted at the dog, �Ginger!� he said. Finally she let a really loud one out that sounded like a train whistle and the father said �Ginger!!!!! Move from there before she shits on you!!!�

Santa walks into a bar, sits down and orders a beer. As he sips the beer he hears a soothing voice say �nice tie�. He looks around and is baffled to see that there is no one there except him and the bartender at the other end of the room. A few sips later the voice says �beautiful shirt�.Santa panics and calls the bartender over and says �I must be losing my mind, I can hear these voices say nice things but there is no one else except you and me� , the bartender points to the table and says �oh it�s the peanuts , they are complimentary

Inappropriate things that Santa tells his kid
-Beta why is a cemetery so popular?
Everyone is DYING to get in.
-Beta do you need a hand with that?
Haan papaji
Santa starts clapping.
-After watching his son slip on the slide, Santa says, �Happy journey Beta!!!!�
-Santa�s son asks for 100 bucks.
Santa says � 50 bucks? What do you need 20 bucks for?�

Santa is the true music lover.
A girl is singing in a bathroom while taking a bath and Santa is near the keyhole listening to her.

Santa being romantic to his wife.
�One day God tested me , erased all my memory and asked do you remember anyone now?
I told Him your name and He replied, �I am sorry some viruses cannot be formatted��

Santa�s wife hit him on the head with the frying pan.
Santa: What was that for?
Santa�s Wife: I found a paper in your pocket with the same BASANTI on it.
Santa: I bet on a horse last week and BASANTI was the name of my horse.
Santa�s wife: Oho Sorry
Next day she hit him with the frying pan again.
Santa: now what happened?
Santa�s wife: your horse is on the phone.

Santa tells his dad, �Pappaji there is this kid in school who calls me gay�
Santa�s Dad:� Oye beta then punch him!!!�
Santa: � No papa he is sooooooo cute!!!�

Do you drink? Girl�s father asked Santa. Santa says � first tell me whether it�s a question or invitation?�

Santa taking grammar lessons
�If more than one mouse is mice then more than one spouse is spice!!!!�

Officer Santa: Madam swimming is restricted in this lake.
Lady: why didn�t you tell me when I was removing my clothes?
Officer Santa: That is not restricted.

Santa: oye waiter ek mast chai pilao jo pura badan hila de.
Waiter: hamare yahan gaai ka doodh aata hai , Rakhi Sawant ka nahin.

Santa�s wife: Oye JI stop looking at other women you are married now.
Santa: Arre you mean if I am on diet I cant look at the menu also?

Santa and Banta were looking at an Egyptian Mummy at a museum.
Santa: Look so many bandages, pakka lorry accident case.
Banta: Yes you are right. See lorry number is also written BC 1760 !!!

Teacher: Which animal flies in the air, but gives birth to young ones on land?
Santa (excited for the first time because he knows the answer)
Santa: AIRHOSTESS!!!!

Santa: That girl is deaf
Banta: How do you know?
Santa: I said I love her, she said her chapels are new

Santa opened a petrol pump, but not even one customer went there. You know why?
Because he opened petrol pump on second floor..

Banta: When I get mad at u, u never fight back. How do u control ur anger?
Preeto: I clean the toilet.
Banta: How does that help?
Preeto: I use ur toothbrush.

Santa: I got married because I was tired of cooking, cleaning home and washing clothes.
Banta: Amazing, I got divorce for the same reason.

Santa bought a car on loan... He didn't pay the dues, the bank took away his car.
Santa: If I knew this, I'd have taken a loan for my marriage also!

Titanic was sinking. Santa: How much the earth is far from here?
Banta: 1 kilo meter.
Santa jumped into the sea and asked again: "...In which direction?"
Banta: Downwards!

Santa: I am so miser (kanjoos) that I went alone for my honeymoon and saved half the money.
Bania: That is nothing, I saved full money. I sent my wife for honeymoon with a friend.

Santa: "When I woke up this morning, I felt like going out and getting a job."
Banta: "Did you?"
Santa: "No. I stayed in bed until the feeling passed."

Banta ek Sadhu se bola: " Baba, meri biwi bahut pareshan karti hai, koi upay batao."
Sadhu: "Beta, upaay hota to main sadhu kyun banta?"

Santa found answer to the most difficult question ever- What comes first -
the chicken or the egg?
O yaar, jiska order pehle doge, vo ayega!

Santa: My dad was an extremely brave man. He once entered a lion's cage.
Banta: He probably got a lot of applause ven he got out.
Santa: I didn't say he got out.


Other Jokes ...

Banta sent sms to Santa: Bhejnewala mahan, padhnewala gadha.
Santa got angry and replied: Bhejnewala gadha, padhnewala mahan.

What's Ford?
Santa: Gaadi.
What's Oxford?
Santa: So simple, Bail Gaadi

Q: Why was Santa writing the exam near the door?
A: Because it was an entrance exam.

Q: A Man asked Santa, "Akal badhi ya bhains? "
A: Santa bola, "Pehle date of birth to batao."

Santa: I'm a proud father. My son is in m! edical college.
Banta: What's he studying?"
Santa: He's not studying, they are studying him!

Banta: Name the 3 fastest means of communication.
Santa: Telephone, Television, Tell-a-woman

Santa & Banta got tired of mobile & decide 2 use pigeons. 1day a pigeon
reaches Banta without message. Angry Banta calls Santa!
Santa: Oye, this was a missed call

Santa standing on platform suddenly jumps on the railway track.
Banta: Santa u'll die.
Santa: U'll die bcoz haven't u heard train is coming on platform?

Q: How do you recognize Santa's son, Pappu, in School?
A: He is the one who erases the books when the teacher erases the board.

A lady asked Santa: LIPTON di chah hai?
Santa replied: Mainu ta nahi hai ji, tainu hai ta lipat ja...

Santa: I kiss my wife everyday before leaving for office, what about u?
Banta: Me too, after u leave.

Santa was caught for speeding and went before the judge.
The judge: What'll you take 30 days or Rs 3000.
Santa: I think I'll take the money.

Frog: Tumhare paas dimaag nahin hai.
Santa: Hai.
Frog: Nahin hai.
Santa: Hai.
Frog: Nahin hai & jumps into the well.
Santa: Isme suicide karne waali kya baat thi.?

Banta ek ! sadhu se bola" Baba, meri biwi bahut pareshan karti hai, koi
upay batao.
Sadhu: Beta, upaay hota to main sadhu kyun banta?

Preeto: Raat ko aap peeke gutter mein gir gaye the.
Banta: Kya bataoon, sub galat sangati ka asar hai, hum 4 dost... 1 bottle,
aur woh teeno kambhakt peeten nahin.

Banta: Marte waqt aadmi ko kya dena chahiye?
Santa: Birla cement.
Banta: Kyun?
Santa: Kyunki is Cement mein jaan hai.

Santa went to battery shop n asked to change battery.
The shopkeep! er asked: Exide laga du?
Santa: Dusri side tera baap lagayega kya?

Santa went out to buy an Indian flag. The shop owner gave him the flag.
Guess what did he ask next...
Ismein aur colour dikhayiye.

Santa:Q: Why dogs don't marry? BantaA: Because they are already leading a dog's life!

Santa falls in luv with a nurse... After much thinking, he finally writes a love letter to her: "I luv u sister."

Pappu, while filling up a form: Dad, what should I write against mother tongue.?
Santa: Very long!

Santa Singh while riding a cycle suddenly hit a girl!
The girl shouted: Ghanti nahi maar sakta tha!!!
Santa: Poori cycle to maar di ab ghanti alag se maroon??!!!

Santa calls Air India. 'How long does it take to fly to Amritsar?'
'Just a sec,' says the customer service assistant.
'Thank you.' says Santa and hangs up.

Santa: "Hi, Main Bol Raha Hoon".
Banta: "Kamaal Hain, Ithe Vi Main Bol Raha Hoon!"

Santa: O Banno Car ki speed itani ky badha di..?
Biwi: Oji Car ki break fail ho gayi hai, Exident ho jaye iske pahale ghar pahunch jaate hai.

Santa : Sitting on The Top of the Mountain and Studying.... When Banta asked what he was doing.... He replied... Oye!! Higher Studies Yaar...!!!


How do you recognize a Sardar in School?
He is the one who erases the notes from the book when the teacher erases the board.

Santa Singh decided to start a chicken farm so he bought a hundred chicks to begin with.
A month later he returned to the dealer for another hundred chicks because all of the first lot had died.
Another month later he was back at the dealers for another hundred chicks, for the second lot had also died.
'But I think I know where I'm going wrong,' said Santa. 'I think I'm planting them too deep.'

Santa to Shopkeeper: - Mujhe India Ka Flag Dikhao.
Shopkeeper ne Flag Dikhaya,
Santa: - Isme aur Colour Dikhao.


How did Panditji Kill a Lion?
Panditji thinks N thinks hard & comes to a conclusion:
I'll drink poison n let the lion eat me.
Hari Om!

Santa visits Chinese friend dying in hospital.
Man says CHIN YU YAN n dies.
Santa goes 2 china 2 find meaning of friends last words.
It is 'U R STANDNG ON D OXGN TUBE!"

A Chinese pair accidentally had twins without getting married, Guess what they named them... Jo Hua, So Hua.

Santa & his wife buy coffee in a shop.
Santa says... Drink quickly......
Wife asks why...
Santa says hot coffee Rs.5 and cold coffee Rs.10.

Santa had twins; he named them Tin & Martin.
Again he had twins & named them Peter & Repeater.
Again he had twins & named them Max & Climax.
Next time he had twins, disgusted Santa named them TIRED & RETIRED!

Santa: I hav'nt slept all nite in the train.
Banta: Y?
Santa: Got upper berth.
Banta: Y did'nt u try to Xchnge?
Santa: oye, there was nobody 2 Xchng in the lower berth..

Santa invested 2 Lakhs in a business and suffered huge Losses.
Do u know what the business was?
He opened a Saloon in Punjab!

Santa tells a girl "Come 2 my house at nite, nobody will b there.............
Girl goes at night & realy nobody was there

Santa was standing below a tube light with mouth wide open.........WHY?
Because his doctor advised him "Today's dinner should be light".

Sardar and his family went for a party. He introduces himself -
I'm sardar, she sardarnee, the boy my kid & the girl my kidney....

Professor Banta asked a plumber to come to his college.
U know why?
Because he wanted to check where the question paper is leaking...

On a romantic date Santa's girl friend asks him "Darling on our engagement, will you give me a ring?
He said "Ya, sure what's your phone number?

A street dog was chasing Santa and he was laughing.
A bystander: why are u laughing? Santa: I have an Airtel phone, but still Hutch network is following me.

The Teacher asked all the students in a class to write an essay on a cricket match.
All were busy writing except Banta.
He wrote "DUE TO RAIN, NO MATCH!"

Postman: I have to come 5 miles to deliver you this packet.
Santa: Why did u come so far? Instead u could have posted it....

What does Santa do after taking a xerox?
He compares it with the original for any spelling mistakes.

Santa proposed to a girl......
Girl said: 'I'm 1 yr elder to you'.
Santa said: 'Oye, no problem Soniye, I'll marry you next year.

A Sardar went to a bank to open a S.B. A/C. After Seeing he went to Delhi. Guess why?
The FORM said "FILL UP IN CAPITAL ".

A Teacher was lecturing on Population Explosion - "In India after every 10 sec a woman gives birth to a kid."
Santa stood up and said - "we must find & stop her!".

Santa - "why are all these people running?" Banta - "This is a race, the winner will get the cup." Santa - "If only the winner will get the cup, why are the others running?"

19 Sardars went to watch a film.
On being questioned about the big group, they replied that the film was only for above 18...

Photographer Santa was focusing on the dead body's face in a funeral function.
Suddenly all the relatives started beating him - why?
He said "SMILE PLEASE"

Santa recently found the answer to the most difficult question ever.
What came first, the Chicken or the Egg?
O Yaar, what ever u order first will come first.

Teacher: "I killed a person" convert this sentence into future tense.
Santa: The future tense is "You will go to jail".

Santa gets ready, wears his tie and coat; goes out, climbs a tree and sits on the branch regularly.
Banta asks why he does this.
Santa: "I've been promoted as branch manager."

Santa was filling up an application form for a job. He was not sure as to what was to be filled in the column "Salary Expected".
After much thought he wrote : Yes!

Santa! Your daughter has died! Depressed, he jumps from the 100th floor
At the 50th floor, he remembers he doesn't have a daughter!
At the 25th flr: He's unmarried!
At the 10th: He's Banta not Santa.

Santa wins 20 cr from a Rs. 20 lottery ticket. The Dealer gives him 11 cr after deducting taxes.
Angry Santa: "Give me 20 cr or else return my 20 Rs back.!"

When Santa & his wife filed an application for divorce, the Judge asked: "How will you divide, you have 3 children?"
Pat came Santa's reply: "Ok! We'll apply NEXT YEAR."

Santa's wish: When I die, I wana die like my grandpa who died peacefully in his sleep?
Not screaming like all the passengers in the car he was driving..

Santa at an Art Gallery: I suppose this horrible looking thing is what you call Modern art?
Art dealer: I beg your pardon sir, that's a mirror!

Santa was writing something very slowly.
Banta asked: "Why are you writing so slowly?"
Santa: "I'm writing to my 6 yr old son, he can't read very fast."

Flash news: A 2 seater plane crashed in a graveyard in Punjab.
Local sardars have so far found 500 bodies and are still digging for more..

Teacher: "I killed a person" convert this sentence into future tense.
Student: The future tense is "u will go to jail".


Teacher: Did your father help you with your homework?
Student: No, he did it all by himself.


Teacher: What are some products of the West Indies?
Student: I don't know.
Teacher: Of course, you do. Where do you get sugar from?
Student: We borrow it from our neighbor.

Teacher:"This is the fifth time this week that i have had punish you What do you have to say?
Student: "Thank god Saterday and Sunday are holidays, Sir!"

Small boy: "Dad , can you write in the dark?"
Father: "I think so. What is it you want me to write?"
Small Boy: "Your name on the report card."

Teacher: "what's the further away, America or the Moon?"
Student: "America!"
Teacher: "America? Whatever gave you that idea?"
Student: "Simple, We can always see the moon from the india, but not america!"



Teacher: "How do you like your new house?"
Student: "Oh, we like it very much. I have a room of my own, each of my sisters has a room of her own. But poor Mum, she's still in with Dad."
----------------
Son: "Daddy, why did you put your thumb impression on my progress report instead of your signature?"

Father: "I don't want your teacher to think that anyone with your marks could possibly have a father who can read or write."

----------------
New Pappu Jokes

Teacher: Pappu, TAMSO MA JYOTIR GAMYA" shloka ka kya arth hai?
Pappu: Tum so jayo maa, mein Jyoti ke pass ja raha hoon.

TEACHER : What is the chemical formula for water?
PAPPU : "HIJKLMNO! "!!
TEACHER : What are you talking about?
PAPPU : Yesterday you said it's H to O !

TEACHER : PAPPU, go to the map and find North America.
PAPPU : Here it is!
TEACHER : Correct. Now, class, who discovered America?
CLASS : PAPPU!

TEACHER : PAPPU, how do you spell "crocodile"?
PAPPU : "K-R-O-K-O-D-A-I-L"
TEACHER : No, that's wrong
PAPPU : Maybe it's wrong, but you asked me how I spell it!

TEACHER : PAPPU, give me a sentence starting with "I".
PAPPU : I is...
TEACHER : No, PAPPU. Always say, "I am."
PAPPU : All right... "I am the ninth letter of the alphabet."

TEACHER : "Can anybody give an example of "COINCIDENCE?"
PAPPU : "Sir, my Mother and Father got married on the same day, same time."

TEACHER : "George Washington not only chopped down his father's Cherry tree, but also admitted doing it. Now do you know why his father didn't punish him?"
PAPPU : "Because George still had the axe in his hand?"

PAPPU : Daddy, have you ever been to Egypt?
FATHER : No. Why do you ask that?
PAPPU: Well, where did you get THIS mummy then?

TEACHER : What a pair of strange socks you are wearing, one is green and one is blue with red spots !
PAPPU: Yes it's really strange. I've got another pair just like that at home.

TEACHER : Now, PAPPU, tell me frankly do you say prayers before eating ?
PAPPU: No sir, I don't have to, my mom is a good cook.

TEACHER : PAPPU, your composition on "My Dog" is exactly the same as your brother's. Did you copy his ?
PAPPU: No, teacher, it's the same dog !

TEACHER : What do you call a person who keeps on talking when people are no longer interested?
PAPPU: A teacher

A little girl was talking to her teacher about whales.
The teacher said it was physically impossible for a whale to swallow a human because even though it was a very large mammal its throat was very small.
The little girl stated that Jonah was swallowed by a whale.
Irritated, the teacher reiterated that a whale could not swallow a human; it was physically impossible.
The little girl said, "When I get to heaven I will ask Jonah". The teacher asked, " What if Jonah went to hell?" The little girl replied, "Then you ask him".

Other Jokes ...
-------------------
Teacher Jokes

A Kindergarten teacher was observing her classroom of children while they were drawing.
She would occasionally walk around to see each child's work. As she got to one little girl who was working diligently, she asked what the drawing was.
The girl replied, "I'm drawing God."
The teacher paused and said, "But no one knows what God looks like."
Without missing a beat, or looking up from her drawing, the girl replied, "They will in a minute."

One day a little girl was sitting and watching her mother do the dishes at the kitchen sink. She suddenly noticed that her mother had several strands of white hair sticking out in contrast on her brunette head.
She looked at her mother and inquisitively asked, "Why are some of your hairs white, Mom?"
Her mother replied, "Well, every time that you do something wrong and make me cry or unhappy, one of my hairs turns white."
The little girl thought about this revelation for a while and then said, "Momma, how come ALL of grandma's hairs are white?"

The children had all been photographed, and the teacher was trying to persuade them each to buy a copy of the group picture. "Just think how nice it will be to look at it when you are all grown up and say, 'There's Jennifer, she's a lawyer,' or 'That's Michael, He's a doctor.' A small voice at the back of the room rang out, "And there's the teacher, She's dead. "

A teacher was giving a lesson on the circulation of the blood. Trying to make the matter clearer, she said, "Now, class, if I stood on my head, the blood, as you know, would run into it, and I would turn red in the face.." "Yes," the class said. "Then why is it that while I am standing upright in the ordinary position the blood doesn't run into my feet?" A little fellow shouted, "Cause your feet ain't empty."

The children were lined up in the cafeteria of a Catholic elementary school for lunch. At the head of the table was a large pile of apples. The nun made a note, and posted on the apple tray: "Take only ONE. God is watching."
Moving further along the lunch line, at the other end of the table was a large pile of chocolate chip cookies.
A child had written a note, "Take all you want. God is watching the apples.

Child: "Why do you send me to school for."
Mother: "To make a man out of you."
Child: "But my teacher makes everyday a cock out of me."

A girl was yelling in the Church after the Chapel: "Oh God! Please make Moscow the Capital of China!"
The priest inquired: "Why must you pray so, my child?"
Girl: "That's what I've written in my answer sheet in the examination!"

When the teacher entered the class all the boys were standing.
The teacher said: 'Now, all of you sit down except those who are absolutely dull and duffers?' All the boys sat down except Rajan.
Teacher: 'Why Rajan? Are you absolutely dull and a duffer?'
Rajan: 'No sir. The thing is that you were standing alone and it didn't look good to me.'

Teacher : "Which is more important to us, the sun or the moon?"
Pupil : "The moon".
Teacher : "Why?"
Pupil : "The moon gives us light at night when we need it but the sun gives us light only in the day time when we don't need it".

Teacher : "What do you call a person who keeps on talking when people are no longer interested?"
Pupil : "A teacher".

Teacher : "Now, children, if I saw a man beating a donkey and stopped him,what virtue would I be showing?"
Student : "Brotherly love".

Ladke Wale:
Ye KYa Batmiji Hai Aapki Ladki Ko Shram Nahi Aati
Undrgrment Me Hi Aa Gai
Ladki wale:
Aap Ne Hi To Kaha Tha Ki Ladki Hume Sirf 2 Kapdo Me ChahiYe.

2 TEARS wer flowin down a river.
1asked:who r u?
It said i'm d tear of a guy who nvr xpresd its luv.nd u?
I'm d tear of d girl who was waitin 4 it...

Teacher - 'Maine Tumhe Kutte Par Essay Likhne Keliye Kaha tha Tumne Likha Kyu Nahi.?'.

SARDAR-'Madam.... Jaise hi Maine Kutte Par Pencil Rakhi Woh Bhag Gaya..!!'

*1 dog road pr ulta pada tha toh log use worship karne lage. Kyu?
Kyuki DOG ka ulta is GOD

*Mare hue insan ke mooh me kya daloge?
Birla plus cement, kyuki "IS CEMENT ME JAAN HAI"

*Wat is the cube of 13?
Suroor,bcz
TERA*TERA*TERA=SUROOR

*Wat did d mothr kangaroo say wen she found her baby missin?
"Aila,meri pocket kisne maari"

*Wat wud u cal a gal who never laughs?
HASI-NA

*Why a heartbroken person doesnt need general knwldge?
Kyunki jb dil hi toot gaya toh "GK" kya karenge

*Agar 2 peepal k ped ko rassi se baandh diya jaye toh rassi ko kya kahenge?
NOKIA- Connecting "PEEPAL''

Santa jalebi bech raha tha,
magar kah raha tha- "aalu le lo...aalu le lo"...
banta bola:ye to jalebi hai...
santa:chup ho jao,abhi makkhiya aa jaegi.

Tum kya jano bewakuf dost kya hote he?
tum kya jano pagal dost kya hote he?
Qki tumhe to intelligent dost mile he ..
kismt to sali hmari futi he.

Besharam Ladki ne ghar se bhag k shaadi ki.

5 din baad wo rote hue wapis i.

Baap: Aab q i ho?

Ladki: Papa wo BMW ka driver nikla.
N95 b China wala tha.

Santa ki shadi k 3 mahine baad hi beta ho gaya.

Santa: Ye 3 mahine me bacha kaise ho gaya??

Biwi: Aapki shadi ko kitna time hua hai?

Santa: 3 mahine.

Biwi: Aur meri shadi ko?

Santa: 3 mahine.

Biwi: Aur bachcha kitne time baad hua?

Santa: 3 mahine baad.

Biwi: Total kitne mahine ho gaye?

Santa: Oh! yaar vakai, 9 mahine ho gaye! time da pata hi nahi lageya!!:P

Biwi ko apni Palkon pe bitha lo,
De ke Khushi uske sare Gam chura lo,
Pyar aisa karo ke Sab dekhte reh jayen,
Padosan bhi aake kahe 'Mujhe bhi apni Biwi banaa lo.

1 sardar ko exam me koi sawal nahi ata tha to sardar ne hr swal ke neche, " llllllllllllllllll " Lines laga di or likha- "scratch kr k answer padh lo..."

Hum karte hai dua Rab se,
ki woh aap jaisa Dost aur na banaye.
Ek hi to Pyara sa Cartoon hai hamare paas,
Wo bhi kahi common na ho jaaye..

Why did Santa throw the butter out of the window?
.
.
.
.
A: He wanted to see butterfly!

Best punishmnt 2 a boy:
Gv him a mobile phone,
wid lots of balance n
girls phone no.'s n
leave him at a place where there is no network.

a for apple
b for banana


wah!wah!


a for apple
b for banana


wah wah..!!




kuch b ho jaye daya goli mat chalana :)

Ye haseen vadiya.....aur ye khula aakash......


Ye haseen vadiya .....aur ye khula aakash....


Oh my god DAYA Ek aur laash

A single spelling mistake dat caused divorce.A man went 2 GOA & sent msg 2 his wife- Having d most amazing & wonderful tme,i wish u were HER.

Gabbar:ye hath mujhe dede thakur !!
Frustrated Thakur: lele mere hath b lele, Kalia k b lele, Basanti k b lele,Jay or Veeru k b lele or DURGA MATA banja Saale!

santa kadhi chawal kha raha tha.
ek makkhi usper baithne ki koshish kar rahi thi...
santa- hat hat ye wo nahi hai jo tu samajh rahi hai..

Sardar & wife waiting for train @ station.
Sudnly 1 train came named PUNJAB MAIL.
Srdr runs & jumps in2 train & shoutd to wife-
"jab PUNJAB-FEMALE aye to tu ajana !

Scientists have found water and ice on the moon......

.

.

.

.

.

Toh dosto, hume sirf whisky le jani hogi Cheers!

============

Wah Prabhu kya teri leela hai

Chuha Billi se darta hai,
Billi Kutte se darti hai,
Kutta Aadmi se darta hai,
Aadmi Biwi se darta hai,
Biwi Chuhhe se darti hai.

==============

1 Man jumped in2 sea & nvr came out
Nxt day 2nd man jumped in2 sea n nvr cameout

Banta Singh aftr watching diz concluded

.

.

.


MAN IS SOLUBLE IN WATER!

============

Desi Boy: "Mere 4 Bhai & 6 Behne Hain, Aap K Kitne Hain?

American Boy:
"Mere Bhai, Behen Nahi,
Par Pehli Mom Se 4 Papa Aur Pehle Papa Se 6 Mom Hain"

============

Santa - Bachpan me maa ki baat suni hoti to aaj ye din na dekhna padta.
JUDGE - Kya kehti thi maa?

Santa - Jab baat hi nahi suni toh kaise bataun kya kehti thi.

===============

Boy : Janeman! tute hue dil se pyaar karogi ya dil tutne tak pyaar karogi.

Girl : Harmkhor! tuti hui chappal se pitega ya chappal tutne tak pitega.

============

A birds shits on Santa Singh, Santa shouts angrily.... "Chadi nahi pehanta kya?"

The bird shouts back... "Tu chaddi me karta kya?"
==============
Crazy PJ

Toot gayi mere dil ki deewar brick by brick

Toot gayi mere dil ki deewar brick by brick

SO WHAT

Chutki me chipkaye FEVIWIK

===============

Biwi (gusse me): tumare dimag to sirf gobar bhara hai.

Pati (pyar se): To fir itni der se Kyu kha rahi ho.

=================

The power of Dhobi

Dhobi is the only 1 person in the wold who can say...

Bhabi kapde nikal k rakhna, abhi aa ke leta hu...

=================

Kashmir ke angoor khatte hote
hai hamari shayari sunnewale
ullu ke patthe hote hai