Sardar declares:
.... . . I will never marry in my life &. . .
.. . . I'll give same advice to my children also. . . ..
$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$
A donkey kicked a Sardar & ran away
Sardar ran to catch the donkey.
He saw a zebra & started beating it & said 'SALA Tracksuit
pahan ke dhoka de raha hai'.
$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$
Sardar: Darling, years ago u had a figure like Coke bottle.
Jeeto: Yes darling I still do, only differnece is earlier it
was 300ml now it's 2 ltr.
$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$
Santa went to Mysore palace.
Tourist guide - Santaji plz dont sit there, its Tipu sultan's chair
Santa - Oye dont worry yaar i'll get up when he comes.!!..
$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$
Sardar wanted to make a STD call to punjab,
He wanted to save money so what did he do?
Simple, he went to punjab and made a local call..
$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$
One tourist from U.S.A.asked to Sardar: Any great man born in this village?
Sardar: No sir, only small babies!!!
$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$
Teacher: A for?
Sardar: Apple
Teacher: Jor se bolo?
Sardar: Jay mata di.
$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$
2 sardars were fighting after exam.
Sir: Y r u fighting?
1st Sardar: This fool left the answer sheet blank,
Sir: So what?
1st Sardar: Even i did the same thing, now teacher will think that we both copied.
$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$
Sardar 1: I'm very kanjoos, I went 2 honeymoon alone & saved 1/2 money.
Sardar 2: You R nothing I saved all my money, my friend was going & I sent my wife with him.
$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$
Sardar is in a dissection class of cockroach. He cuts its 1 leg, and says, "chal", it walks.
He cuts 2nd and 3rd legs and said, "chal" , it walks.
He cuts all the legs and said, "chal....." Finally he wrote the conclusion.......
..... "after all the legs of a cockroach are cut - it becomes deaf......"
$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$
A Tamilian call up sardar and asks " tamil therima??"
Sardar got mad, angrily replied.... "Hindi tera baap!!!"
$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$
2 sardarjis looking at Egyptian mummy.
Sar 1 : Look so many bandages, pakka lorry accident case.
Sar 2 : Aaho, lorry number is also written...BC 1760!!!....
$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$
A sardar on an interview 4 da post detective.
Interviewer : who killed Gandhi?
Sardar : Thank u sir 4 giving me d job, I will start investigating.......
$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$
A scene from Kohn Benega Crorepati....
Amitabh : In which state Cauvery flows?
Sardar : Liquid state.....
Audience clapped.. Amitabh stunned, looks behind, ALL WERE SARDARS......
$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$
Boss: Where were you born?
Sardar: India ...
Boss: which part?
Sardar: What 'which part'? Whole body was born in India
$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$
2 sardar were fixing a bomb in a car.
Sardar 1: What would you do if the bomb explodes while fixing.
Sardar 2: Dont worry, I have one more.
$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$
Sardar: What is the name of your car?
Lady: I forgot the name, but is starts with 'T'.
Sardar: Oh, what a strange car, starts with Tea. All cars that I know start with petrol.
$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$
Sardar joined new job. 1st day he worked till late evening on the computer. Boss was happy and asked what you did till evening.
Sardar: Keyboard alphabets were not in order, so I made it alright.
$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$
Museum Administrator: That's a 500-year-old statue u've broken..
Sardar: Thanks God! I thought it was a new one.
At the scene of an accident a man was crying: O God! I have lost my hand, oh!
Sardar: Control yourself. Don't cry. See that man. He has lost his head. Is he crying?
$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$
Sardar: U cheated me.
Shopkeeper: No, I sold a good radio to u.
Sardar: Radio label shows Made in Japan but radio says this is 'All India Radio! '
$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$
NOW THE LAST TWO ULTIMATE:
In an interview, Interviewer: How does an electric motor run?
Sardar: Dhhuuuurrrrrrrrrr. .....
Inteviewer shouts: Stop it.
Sardar: Dhhuurrrr dhup dhup dhup....
$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$
Tourist: Whose skeleton is that?
Sardar: An old king's skeleton.
Tourist: Who's that smaller skeleton next to it?
Sardar: That was same king's skeleton when he was a child.
1. What is height of Fashion?
Dhoti with a zip
************ ********* ********* *********
2. What is height of Secrecy?
Offering blank visiting cards.
************ ********* ********* *********
3. What is height of Activelaziness?
Asking for a lift to house while on a morning walk.
************ ********* ********* *********
4. What is height of Laziness?
Adopting a child.
************ ********* ********* *********
5. What is height of Craziness?
Getting a blank paper Xeroxed.
************ ********* ********* *********
6. What is height of Forgetfulness?
Seeing the mirror and trying to recollect when you Saw Him / her Last.
************ ********* ********* *********
7. What is height of Stupidity?
A man looking through a keyhole of a glass door.
************ ********* ********* *********
8. What is height of Honesty?
A pregnant woman taking one and a half ticket.
************ ********* ********* *********
9. What is height of Suicide?
A dwarf jumping from the footpath on the road.
************ ********* ********* *********
10. What is height of De-hydration?
A cow giving milk powder.
Interviewer: What is skeleton?
Santa: Skeleton is a person who started dieting but forgot to stop it....!!!
************************************************************
जेलर : तुम्हे कल सुबह 5 बजे फाँसी दी जायेगी !
सरदार : हा हा हा हा !
जेलर : क्यों हँस रहे हो ?
सरदार : मैं तो उठता ही सुबह 9 बजे हूँ !
************************************************************
Teacher: Translate - बाज़ार में गोलियां चल रही हैं !
संता : The Tablets are walking in the market..
************************************************************
Santa's girfriend: मेरी माँ आपको बहुत पसंद करती है !
Santa, after a deep thought: कुछ भी हो जाये , शादी तो मैं तुझसे ही करूँगा !
************************************************************
Shopkeeper: This sweater's made of pure virgin wool sir.
Santa: You see I am not interested in the morals of the sheep. Just tell me, will it keep me warm?
************************************************************
संता : Why has the Govt. fixed voting age 18yrs & marriage age 21yrs?
बंता : Govt. को पता है की देश संभालना आसान है , लेकिन बीवी को नहीं .
************************************************************
संता बड़ा दुखी था , किसी ने पूछा इतनी टेंशन में क्यों हो ?
संता : एक दोस्त को 3 लाख प्लास्टिक सर्जरी के लिए दिए थे, अब उसे पहचान नहीं पा रहा हूँ !
************************************************************
Postman: I have to come 5 miles to deliver u this packet.
Santa: Why did u come so far. Instead U could have posted it.
************************************************************
Why did Santa sleep with a scale?
Because he wanted to measure how long he has Slept.
************************************************************
ड्राईवर : सर जी , पेट्रोल ख़तम हो गया , गाडी आगे नहीं जा सकती .
बंता :-चलो फिर , वापिस ले चलो ..
************************************************************
संता : वो देख तेरी बीवी को सांप काट रहा है !
बंता : अरे टेंशन मत ले , जहर भरवाने आया होगा ...
************************************************************
Santa bought a car on loan.... He didn't pay the dues, the bank took away his car.
Santa: If I knew this, I'd have taken a loan for my marriage also!
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About Me

- Khatri The King
- I am Dr. RK Khatri. PhD(Computer Science) BE MBA(IT/E-Commerce) +MCA + SAP Consultant